The Cabbage Patch

Restless

For days now, I've been restless.  Feeling unsettled.  Worried almost.  I have barely been able to sit down and sew or knit.  My studio is once again a mess as I've flitted from one project to the next and not finishing hardly any of them.  

For weeks and months now, I've been reading about all the wonderful babies.  Babies who have come and babies who are coming.  Babies to moms who have struggled with wanting more but not yet having more.  

Please all my wonderful friends who are pregnant or have just had babies:  I am VERY HAPPY for you.  This is all about my feelings about myself.  I have loved seeing the new little ones popping up here and there in photos on the blogosphere.  I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of some more babies.  

However, I'm feeling somewhat lost.  Feeling a physical longing for another little one.  My heart just aches for another one.  I thought I had passed this stage.  

But, just now, I've had an epiphany.  It'll be three years tomorrow.  Three years since I lost my last baby.  It still hurts.  

7 Quick Takes ~ Hoping to be Back in the Saddle Edition

~1~

I'm trying to get back in the saddle on various things and blogging is one of them.  I want to continue to blog here and to blog more at The Seemly Seamstress.  Now, the key word is "try".

~2~

Ben comes home soon.  I'll leave it at that.

~3~

It is not Nutcracker season.  It seems odd to have Saturday afternoons off, but it's nice.  

~4~

Parenting older kids is exhausting.  It was so much easier to parent toddlers.  They were physically exhausting, but older kids are more mentally taxing.  And then, there's the constant worry that I'm ruining my children for the rest of their lives.  

~5~

Can I say how thankful I am for my parents?  They've been such a great help to me this deployment.  It's still very hard because well, see number 4, but the house hasn't been this neat during a deployment.  And, well, the house has never been that neat or clean during Nutcracker season.  Well, it's never really neat, but neater than it would've been without my parents around.

~6~

The presidential election is coming up.  I'm really worried.

~7~

Very worried.