I grieve occasionally. At times I might even get jealous. Jealous, but not so that I wish others didn't have it. Of what you might wonder. Well, conversation. I want to hold a conversation with my son. A real one. Okay, well all of ours are real. I want to talk about him. Not about facts. Not about trivia. Him. I want to know how he is. What he's thinking. Everything. I read books with sons as characters. I want those types of conversations. I wonder if I'll ever get them. Then I feel badly because, well, my son is verbal. There are many who are not. Don't get me wrong. We do speak and have conversations. But, I'd really like to delve deeper with him. Because he truly is a neat and interesting character. He's funny.
Baseball. Wow. He's playing well. However, he won't start. And, because of his age, he is not in the recreation league where everyone HAS to play. I hope he gets a shot. I want this to be a good experience for him. He got one of the better coaches. He is suited to coach a guy like Brother. The other coaches are pretty hardcore. The other teams even have a team shout out after practice. Not Brother's. Unless they developed one since last week. Oh, he's playing as a Ranger. I'm so happy he's not a Yankee. It'd be hard to cheer for the team.
School. We are constantly working on reading with him. He can't comprehend much in the way of a story. He reads facts and will remember them. Great mind and memory there. However, give him a story, and he gets lost. Sometimes he gets lost reading. The words I think are too much on that page. Also, he can't make a picture in his head so following what's happened is difficult. He also can't pick out the main idea so every detail is important. When everything seems important, it's hard to follow a storyline.
Piano. He loves music. It is one of the few things that actually calms him. He needs to listen to it at high volume. I try not to wince at the damage I'm sure it's causing his hearing. He plays the piano well if not always with the proper placement. He tends to remember music instead of following the sheet music. I think he tends to lose his place. It's about the same as reading a book.
Math. Sigh. He's behind in math. But, he's doing well at what he is learning. And, I'm pleased. I want him to be able to write smaller when he does math, but he says he can't see the numbers. It's not that he can't see the numbers. I think it's that his brain doesn't process it well when he looks at a column of numbers. So, he needs to write big. Well, that's an easy accommodation.
College. Will he go? He wants to. I really wish the local Texas A&M Central Texas campus would have an autism center of sorts. This area has a lot of special needs children. I think it would be so nice that have that available so that he can live with us and attend college. These are all things that are looming in the future. Near more than far. How did that happen?
My dream. My dream is that he will live independently. Okay, here's my real big dream. I want to buy a big-ish piece of land. Build a house on it. Then build a smaller house on it for Brother. He can be independent but near. I've heard of high functioning adults with autism doing this. They're independent but close by to family so they can be watched over.
I need to win the lottery...