The Cabbage Patch

Autism Awareness ~ Miscellaneous Ramblings

Today is the last day of April.  I have lots of words but even more feelings locked up inside.  I don't know if they'll ever come out.

Adolescence is hard for my child.  It's hard for any child, but for someone who is developmentally 10 and yet physically is 13 going on 14, it's even harder.  

I homeschool for many reasons.  One of them is so my son won't get bullied.  His life is difficult enough without the added burden of being bullied.  He's just off enough that he'd get bullied.  I know it.  

But, even as a homeschool mom, I can't guarantee that he'll have friends.  

He's at the age where he really wants friends.  He wants that social interaction.  But, this is where he's weakest.  I'll have to say that the people who have known him for many years brace themselves for his brand of conversation.  I know they tend to brush him off.  I try not to hold it against them.

Baseball has been difficult because there are too many unknowns.  Unknowns are not easy for people with autism.  He has to be first when doing anything because first is a known.  Last is never a known because last can actually be 4th, 3rd, 6th, or any manner of number.  He doesn't know what position he'll be playing.  It's been hard for him to have to try all sorts of different positions.  He has his first game this Thursday at 7:45.  

7 Quick Takes ~ Austim Awareness

One

I grieve occasionally.  At times I might even get jealous.  Jealous, but not so that I wish others didn't have it.  Of what you might wonder.  Well, conversation.  I want to hold a conversation with my son.  A real one.  Okay, well all of ours are real.  I want to talk about him.  Not about facts.  Not about trivia.  Him.  I want to know how he is.  What he's thinking.  Everything.  I read books with sons as characters.  I want those types of conversations.  I wonder if I'll ever get them.  Then I feel badly because, well, my son is verbal.  There are many who are not.  Don't get me wrong.  We do speak and have conversations.  But, I'd really like to delve deeper with him.  Because he truly is a neat and interesting character.  He's funny.  

Two

Baseball.  Wow.  He's playing well.  However, he won't start.  And, because of his age, he is not in the recreation league where everyone HAS to play.  I hope he gets a shot.  I want this to be a good experience for him.  He got one of the better coaches.  He is suited to coach a guy like Brother.  The other coaches are pretty hardcore.  The other teams even have a team shout out after practice.  Not Brother's.  Unless they developed one since last week.  Oh, he's playing as a Ranger.  I'm so happy he's not a Yankee.  It'd be hard to cheer for the team.  

Three

School.  We are constantly working on reading with him.  He can't comprehend much in the way of a story.  He reads facts and will remember them.  Great mind and memory there.  However, give him a story, and he gets lost.  Sometimes he gets lost reading.  The words I think are too much on that page.  Also, he can't make a picture in his head so following what's happened is difficult.  He also can't pick out the main idea so every detail is important.  When everything seems important, it's hard to follow a storyline.

Four

Piano.  He loves music.  It is one of the few things that actually calms him.  He needs to listen to it at high volume.  I try not to wince at the damage I'm sure it's causing his hearing.  He plays the piano well if not always with the proper placement.  He tends to remember music instead of following the sheet music.  I think he tends to lose his place.  It's about the same as reading a book.

Five

Math.  Sigh.  He's behind in math.  But, he's doing well at what he is learning.  And, I'm pleased.  I want him to be able to write smaller when he does math, but he says he can't see the numbers.  It's not that he can't see the numbers.  I think it's that his brain doesn't process it well when he looks at a column of numbers.  So, he needs to write big.  Well, that's an easy accommodation.

Six

College.  Will he go?  He wants to.  I really wish the local Texas A&M Central Texas campus would have an autism center of sorts.  This area has a lot of special needs children.  I think it would be so nice that have that available so that he can live with us and attend college.  These are all things that are looming in the future.  Near more than far.  How did that happen?  

Seven

My dream.  My dream is that he will live independently.  Okay, here's my real big dream.  I want to buy a big-ish piece of land.  Build a house on it.  Then build a smaller house on it for Brother.  He can be independent but near.  I've heard of high functioning adults with autism doing this.  They're independent but close by to family so they can be watched over.  

I need to win the lottery...

Autism Awareness ~ Baseball Practice

I guess this isn't necessarily about autism awareness, but about what it's like to live with a child with autism.  

This week Ben is away in Washington DC for some briefings about the past deployment.  We were not too thrilled.  Anyway, because of that, baseball duty fell to me.

I arrived home after Kidz ballet (ballet class for special needs children that Sister volunteers for) and took him to baseball practice.  We were one of the first ones to arrive.  The coach gave us the game and practice schedule.  Brother has been worried sick about missing the first game.  The first game of the baseball season for this league is scheduled on the same day as my brother's wedding.  Brother is a groomsman.  He's had this on his schedule for two years.  But, the game had become more important.  Why?  He thought if he missed the first game, he wouldn't be playing in any of the games.  The schedule?  We have a bye.  YAY!!!  Thank you, God.  Truly, this was His handiwork.  

After a quick warmup and a run around the field (can I tell you how happy I am that he's not the last one to finish?), the coach divided the boys up.  Five to seven of them were brought to the pitchers mound while the others were sent off to work on fielding.  Brother was picked!!!  My heart was glad.  He wants to pitch.  He has worked so very hard the past year learning proper form and well, just learning how to pitch.

He still needs to work on learning fundamentals about things like base running.  But, he's doing well.  This is the first time he's ever been on a team.  This is the first time he's ever wanted to.  

And, you know where he got this interest in baseball?  He wanted to watch a non-girly show on Netflix.  The only thing he could find he would be allowed to watch that he was interested in?  A Cal Ripken, Jr.'s video about baseball.  

I'm proud of my boy.  And, me.  I didn't dissolve into a mass of nerves.  Much.

Autism Awareness ~ Trying New Things

Brother always shies away from new things.  If it's not familiar he won't do it.  He has gotten better.  Much, much better.  

Well, today, he's going out to do something new in a big way.  At age 13, he has decided he wants to play baseball.  He has NEVER played an organized sport.  I'm nervous for him.  Very, very nervous.  He is nervous.  But, I'm so proud of him.  He has worked very hard to learn to throw a baseball and to catch.  He worked hard on his own with his "come-backer net" while Ben was deployed.  

And, I'll have to admit that I'm worried about the social aspects.  This age is difficult.  I can only hope for kindness.  Okay, I'm a wreck, but I can't let my dear son know it.

Autism Awareness ~ The Numbers

U.S. kids and autism Overall:

• 1 in 88 U.S. kids have autism; up 78% from 2002 
•  Total: Estimated 1,000,000 children with autism 
•  Boys: 1 in 54; up 82% from 2002 
•  Girls: 1 in 252; up 63% from 2002 
•  Non-Hispanic white children: 1 in 83; up 70% from 2002 
•  Non-Hispanic black children: 1 in 98; up 91% from 2002 
•  Hispanic children: 1 in 127; up 110% from 2002

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

The Face of Autism

My son is 13.  

He likes to recite facts incessantly.  

His voice is changing.  He likes it.  

He's growing and is an inch taller than I.

His mental age and his emotional age is around 10.  I'm not worried.  He'll catch up.

Baseball has become his newest obsession fascination.

He needs to be exposed to as many experiences as possible so he can refer to them to properly react.  His mind will need to be like a database.  He doesn't understand social clues so he'll need to add to his database so he can pull the proper responses out of his hard drive aka his brain.

He still cries when he gets upset.  It still breaks my heart to see those tears roll out of his eyes.

He plays house with his 6 year old sister.  How many 13 year olds would do that?

He acts like a teenager sometimes.

He will still hold his mother's hand while walking in the parking lot.  His hand is bigger than mine.  

He will also sit in his mother's lap still.  I can only handle that for a few minutes.

My son has autism.  

This is the face of autism.  And, I love him.

April is Autism Awareness Month.