For days now, I've been restless. Feeling unsettled. Worried almost. I have barely been able to sit down and sew or knit. My studio is once again a mess as I've flitted from one project to the next and not finishing hardly any of them.
For weeks and months now, I've been reading about all the wonderful babies. Babies who have come and babies who are coming. Babies to moms who have struggled with wanting more but not yet having more.
Please all my wonderful friends who are pregnant or have just had babies: I am VERY HAPPY for you. This is all about my feelings about myself. I have loved seeing the new little ones popping up here and there in photos on the blogosphere. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of some more babies.
However, I'm feeling somewhat lost. Feeling a physical longing for another little one. My heart just aches for another one. I thought I had passed this stage.
But, just now, I've had an epiphany. It'll be three years tomorrow. Three years since I lost my last baby. It still hurts.