Dear R****** and J***** M**** M**** (and all ballet teachers and directors plus anyone who works with teens),
There are so many directions this letter can take, but I'm going to address the biggest issue. The issue is your treatment of my girls. You can treat me terribly all you want even if it's wrong. You can do that even though I gave you more of my time and money than any other ballet mom at your studio, T**** M*********** B*****. You can do that because at my age, I don't really care and God knows my heart and the truth.
Teenagers might look like adults but they are not. They're still developing and maturing so they're super fragile. Physically? My girls are super tough. I mean they dance in pointe shoes. They were taking over 10 hours of dance a week with classes and rehearsals combined. Mentally, they can be tough. They've had to be since February 2017 when I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. However, you were pretty great at breaking them down. You broke my oldest so many times in the fall of 2018, I worked double time taping the pieces back together and forcing her back to class and rehearsal. After her last Nutcracker, you couldn't even bring yourselves to say one word to her. Not one. Then you casually dismissed her from her job teaching the little ones based on a rumor that we were not returning for spring semester. Not once did you ask us if that was true. You treated my middle one verbally roughly that after one correction (that is if you even bothered to acknowledge them), she almost cried. I'm sure it was sheer force of will and pride that she didn't. It wasn't my girls who told me these things, other dancers did. My youngest you didn't do much to directly, but your actions meant we had to leave the studio so now we're wondering where to go. So, yes, even her you hurt. You ignored my girls who are paying customers so much that when you did say something to them or say their names, they were surprised and mentioned it.
I ignored the red flags. The teen dancer you dismissed the first year TMB existed. I ignored the rude names you called her and I shouldn't have. I ignored the way you wanted every "trouble" dancer or dancer with a "trouble" parent gone. I ignored your words "We don't have to be here, you know." when you were ranting about a parent who had emailed you about their concerns. I was wrong in ignoring all of the red flags because I was happy that a quality classical ballet studio was still in Killeen, TX. I don't think it's worth it anymore though. I'd rather see there be no ballet at all here if it means that not one more teen is hurt by you and your actions (this is not a threat, just my feelings).
These girls are not professionals. They're people. My girls are arguably some of the best dancers you have at the studio. They are not bullies like you claim them to be. Just because they're not friends with your favored dancer does not mean they're bullies. They have always been civil and even once were friends with her. She is as toxic as you all. And, she is the bully with your blessing. Did you know that every single dancer is afraid of accidentally brushing up against her? They know that she would run to you with tales of it being done on purpose and you would believe her. She has all the power, knows it and uses it. You once told me the girls (all the dancers) were not friends with her because of the roles she was getting. Well, my oldest was Sugar Plum Fairy.
This is an open letter to all directors and teachers to remember that these are teenagers still developing and everything you do can damage their psyches. Check your meanness at the door and just teach. Every child deserves to learn the art of ballet not just your favored ones.
Sincerely,
A very sad, heartbroken ballet mom
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